Friday, January 18, 2013

Outside Looking In



Just like Icarus I soared too close to the sun and I got seared. Your soul cried out to mine, and like an idiot I came running every time. Yet once by your side, it was as if I did not exist. You saved your smiles and favors for others and your frowns for me. Each time I would turn to leave, you would beg me to stay, only to once again play the same charade.

I must admit I have a sick fascination in wanting what I cannot have. At times taking pleasure in the acute pain you caused me. However I have respect for myself, so I’ll wrap up my feelings for you and place then neatly on the shelf. On a clear day in June many years from now, I’ll take them down and dust them off; remembering with wonder how you made me feel. There was once a time I would have gone begging to you on my knees. Begging you to see me, begging you to love me. All for naught, your eyes were firmly ahead, it never occurred to you to look to your side and see me standing there; gazing at you with love and affection.

As for now, I stand here on the outside looking in, as you take one lovelier then me by the hand. Smile at her with warm eyes and soft lips. With pain and longing I will remember all the times I would have just died for you to look at me that way. As I turn away, do you ever look up with despair? I imagine not.

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