“This
is a call to arms,” emanated an eloquent disembodied voice. There was an
audible collective intake of breath and then the earth began to rumble. Street
lamps raddled in their glass cases, trains were derailed, snow shook from the
highest mountain tops and dormant volcanos erupted. Was this Armageddon? No,
this was Tom Hiddleston.
In
Spain, the running of the bulls was substituted by way of ravenous fans running
through the streets with gold horns on their heads, squealing with glee. England
sent riot police to protect the Queen in Buckingham Palace as “Hiddlestoners”
milled about in Loki getup holding up signs that said “Make tea not war”;
sharing fresh biscuits and tea with the riot police. Hollywood flashed a large
search light in the sky (which looked suspiciously like the bat signal with
horns on it).
It
appeared that this was a peaceful uprising……. yet the mainstream public did not
realize that something more infinitely seedier was afoot. Two days later CNN broke
the news that Josh Horowitz was missing.
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